Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
