Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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