Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
