hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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