Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
