2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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