I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
