We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
