Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
