i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
