My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
