She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
