Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
