i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
