Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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