HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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