I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
