why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
