Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
