i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my being single is dangerous.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
