I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
