your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
