someone get that fucking seahorse.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
where are you?
Hypothermia
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
