Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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