You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
