i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
