I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
