Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
