So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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