TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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