You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
