i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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