She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
