so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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