If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
