problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
