There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
