I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
