i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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