She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
