Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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