come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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