I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
