Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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