Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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