So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
