In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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