can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
