found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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