just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had to cum in my sink.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
