Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish my penis had a tongue
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
